Carving Out One-on-One Time with Each Child

23 March 2025

Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging journeys in life. Between work, household responsibilities, and the constant whirlwind of daily activities, it’s easy to get caught up in the chaos. In the midst of all this, ensuring that each child gets individual attention can sometimes feel impossible.

But here’s the thing—kids crave one-on-one time with their parents. Those private moments, even if brief, strengthen the bond, build their self-esteem, and make them feel seen and valued.

So, how do you make space for this sacred time, even in a jam-packed schedule? Let’s dive into why it matters and how to make it happen.

Why One-on-One Time Matters

Every child is unique, with their own dreams, fears, and little quirks that make them who they are. When they have to constantly share your attention with siblings, they can sometimes feel overshadowed or less important.

Spending individual time with each child helps:

- Strengthen Bonds – One-on-one time deepens your connection with your child, allowing trust and closeness to flourish.
- Boost Confidence – Kids who get regular attention feel emotionally secure and valued.
- Improve Behavior – Children who feel heard are less likely to act out for attention.
- Encourage Open Communication – When children know they have special time with you, they’re more likely to share their thoughts and feelings.

Now that we understand why it’s so essential, let’s talk about ways to make it happen.

How to Make One-on-One Time a Habit

Life is busy, but prioritizing one-on-one time doesn’t mean you need to carve out hours every day. Even a few minutes of undistracted attention can make a world of difference.

1. Put It on the Calendar

We schedule work meetings, doctor’s appointments, and school events—so why not schedule special time with our kids? Setting an official “date” with each child, even if it’s just 15 minutes, ensures it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle of daily life.

You could:

- Have a standing Saturday morning breakfast with one child
- Plan a short bedtime chat each night
- Set aside a regular car ride for deep conversations

The key is consistency. Kids love knowing they have something to look forward to.

2. Make the Most of Everyday Moments

Not every bonding session needs to be an event. Some of the best quality time happens in simple, everyday moments:

- Cooking together – Let them help stir the pancake batter or set the table.
- Running errands – Turn a grocery store trip into an opportunity for conversation.
- Walking the dog – A quiet stroll can lead to meaningful chats.
- Tucking them in at night – A five-minute cuddle or bedtime story can work wonders.

It’s about being present in these moments, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, too.

3. Follow Their Lead

Instead of trying to plan every detail, sometimes it's best to let your child call the shots. Ask them, “What’s something fun you’d love to do with just me?” You might be surprised by their responses!

Some kids may want to bake cookies, others might prefer playing video games, and some may just want to sit and talk. What matters most is that they get to choose and feel heard.

4. Limit Distractions

It’s no secret that phones and screens can be major time-stealers. Imagine sitting with your child, only for them to see you scrolling through emails. Not the best way to show them they have your full attention, right?

Try to:

- Put your phone on silent or set it aside
- Turn off the TV if it’s not part of your activity
- Make eye contact and truly listen

Even if it’s just 10 minutes, being fully present makes all the difference.

5. Get Creative with One-on-One Activities

Not every moment needs to be a big production, but having a few go-to activities can be helpful. Here are some fun and meaningful ideas:

- Picnic in the backyard – A simple sandwich outside can feel special.
- DIY spa night – Face masks and nail painting for bonding time.
- Bike ride around the neighborhood – A little fresh air and adventure.
- Board game or puzzle night – A great balance of fun and connection.
- Arts and crafts project – Let their creativity shine.
- Reading together – A shared book fosters connection.

The goal is not the activity itself, but the togetherness it creates.

6. Make It a Tradition

One of the best ways to ensure one-on-one time doesn’t fade away is by creating traditions. Maybe it’s:

- Friday night hot chocolate chats
- Saturday morning pancake dates
- A monthly "kid’s choice” outing

Traditions create lifelong memories and strengthen the bond between you and your child. Plus, they instill a sense of security and routine that kids thrive on.

Overcoming Common Challenges

Even with the best intentions, life sometimes gets in the way. Here are some common hurdles and how to navigate them:

“I Have Too Many Kids and Not Enough Time!”

If you have multiple kids, it can feel overwhelming to carve out time for each one. Start small—five to ten minutes a day per child is better than nothing. Rotate activities so no one feels left out.

“My Child Doesn’t Seem Interested”

Every child is different. If your child seems uninterested, don’t take it personally. Instead, observe what excites them and subtly weave quality time into those interests.

For example, if they love music, spend time listening to their favorite songs together. If they love drawing, grab some paper and doodle beside them.

“We’re Always Busy”

Busy schedules make everything harder, but it’s about making the time, not finding it. Swap out 10 minutes of social media scrolling for ten minutes of connection. Use car rides or mealtimes as built-in opportunities.

“I Feel Guilty for Not Doing Enough”

Parental guilt is real, but remember, it’s not about quantity—it’s about quality. Even small moments of undivided attention go a long way. Your child isn’t keeping a tally; they just want to feel loved and prioritized.

Final Thoughts: The Heart of Parenting

Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present. One-on-one time doesn’t have to be elaborate, expensive, or time-consuming. What truly matters is that your child feels valued, heard, and loved.

At the end of the day, it’s the little moments—a shared laugh, a bedtime hug, a simple conversation—that your child will remember most. Those moments shape their confidence, their sense of security, and their relationship with you.

So, take a deep breath, start small, and cherish the precious opportunity to connect with your child—one moment at a time.